ALPHABET SOUP (11)
FEATURING A RANDOM LETTER OF THE ALPHABET AND
SOME SHOWS THAT BEGIN WITH THAT LETTER
L
It's hard to believe that it's been over a year since I
consulted the Blue London Coffee Mug for inspiration. But today I did, and it
decided today's letter would be "L." Today: a stunningly-acted,
critically-dismissed play about a legendary star; a pink-themed romp that
evaporates into the air the second the final curtain comes down; one of the
funniest plays ever; a once locally
popular play, now forgotten; an acclaimed one-woman solo show; and finally, a
star-studded train wreck.
Ready? Let's begin.
LOOPED – Lyceum Theatre,
New York
February, 2010. Third preview. Set in a sound studio in
1965, legendary star Tallulah Bankhead is called in to loop one line in what
would be her final film, Die! Die! My
Darling!. Up in the booth, a sound technician (Michael Mulheren) watches and a film editor (Brian Hutchinson) coaxes and flatters as Bankhead struggles
to get the one line on tape. That's the basic premise. But, in reality, the
evening was all about the great Tallulah as seen through the eyes of playwright
Matthew Lombardo. In a tour-de-force performance by Valerie Harper, the iconic
Bankhead came to crackling life with one-liners delivered with laser-focus zing
mixed in with copious amounts of deliciously irreverent profanity and some surprisingly
touching moments, especially the pain reflected in Harper's face as she recalls
her critically-reviled portrayal of Blanche DuBois in a Florida revival of A Streetcar Named Desire. It's Harper's
show and she commanded the stage like a true diva and, like Kathleen Turner in
Lombardo's High the following year,
gave the project a patina that elevated the play from being just another middling celebrity-driven
vehicle. Harper gave the show, and her role, heart. The production was
efficiently directed by Rob Ruggiero and William Ivey Long's dress for Harper
was a stunner. The audience had a grand time; the critics less so. It would
close after a short run of 27 previews and 33 performances. – at the Lyceum
Theatre, New York
Sidebar:
Kathleen Turner also played Tallulah Bankhead in a solo show called Tallulah. Bob and I saw it in Chicago
when it made a stop at the Shubert in what was planned as a pre-Broadway tour.
It closed for "rewrites" and that was that. Looped's creatives were a couple of rows behind us in the
largely-empty mezzanine at the performance we attended. I gave what I hoped was
a reassuring thumbs-up to them as we exited the theatre. Like I said, I liked
it. Perhaps in a smaller house it would have fared better. Although
post-Broadway productions have been mounted, I have searched high and low for
the script. It doesn't appear to be published and a Google search for amateur
rights comes up empty. Curious.
LEGALLY BLONDE – Palace
Theatre, New York
May, 2007. Based on the 2001 film starring Reese Witherspoon,
Legally Blonde, the musical, boldly
shattered stereotypes and, in just under two and one-half hours, demonstrated
that perky sorority blondes with an affinity for pink can go to Harvard Law, graduate
at the top of her class, and get the
guy, all the while remaining the elusive true-to-herself. Omigod, you guys! Too
rad! But, too rad or not, Legally Blonde was
like a confectioner's treat: sweet, tasty, and full of empty calories. And totally
enjoyable. Creators Heather Hach (book), Nell Benjamin and Laurence O'Keefe
(music and lyrics) gave their talented cast, including Laura Bell Bundy, Christian
Borle (pre-Tony Award wins), Orfeh, Michael Rupert, Kate Shindle, Andy Karl
(doubling in smallish roles), future Tony winner Annaleigh Ashford, Leslie
Kritzer, and Submissions Only
co-creator, writer, and actor Kate Wetherhead, lots to do. Directed and
choreographed with flair by Jerry Mitchell, in his Broadway directorial debut, Legally Blonde moved like a well-oiled
machine, and any parts in the show where it bogged down a bit were steamrolled
over to the next segment. The book, all surface and no depth, pretty much
adhered to the film, and the score, though energetic and tuneful, didn't leave
a trace behind after a song's final note had been sung. The "gay or
European" bit went on far too long and bordered on both condescending and
offensive, and some of the jokes rankled, but when all is said and done, Legally Blonde was professional,
well-crafted, fun, and the audience left the Palace Theatre happy, especially
the gazillion teenaged girls in the audience. The musical got a mixed critical
reaction, received no Tony love despite multiple nominations, and, even though
it racked up a decent run of 595 performances, did not recoup its original
investment. A great example of a "B" musical, Legally Blonde was a pleasant way to spend a Sunday evening. – at
the Palace Theatre, New York
Sidebar:
Legally Blonde may have closed on
Broadway as a financial failure, but don't weep sad tears for it. It launched
two successful and profitable touring companies, is an enormously popular title
in the MTI catalog, and even generated one of those reprehensible
"Jr." editions. Not bad for a show that doesn't have an especially
memorable moment in it.
THE LITTLE DOG
LAUGHED – Cort Theatre, New York
October, 2006. Preview performance. On its own, Douglas
Carter Beane's The Little Dog Laughed
is an extremely funny play, but seeing it onstage with the incomparable Julie
White, in a Tony-winning, career-highlight comic masterpiece performance, had me
and the entire audience at the Cort laughing so hard and so consistently, I
feared that we would all wet our collective pants. This isn't an Odd Couple comedy, filled with rambunctious,
yet endearing, characters spouting clever one-liners. This is a no-holds-barred,
often expletive-laden, ferocious comedy that skewers the singularly American preoccupation
with one's sexual orientation. Can you be both gay and a Hollywood heartthrob
at the same time? Do you always have to abide by the "rules" to be
happy and successful? There's a seriousness hovering over The Little Dog Laughed, but it never got in the way of the
outrageously funny goings-on on the Cort stage. Scott Ellis knows his way
around a comedy, and he directed the proceedings with precision. That Thing You Do's Tom Everett Scott
made for a lovable, conflicted, would-be heartthrob. Roseanne and pre-Big Bang's
Johnny Galecki was spot-on as a lovable, conflicted rent boy, who demonstrated
beyond a shadow of a doubt, in a very brief, if-you-blinked-you-missed-it, full
frontal nudity moment, that big things can come in small packages. For the
record, Mr. Scott acquitted himself
honorably in this moment as well. No, I'm not being a complete perv. It's just
that I was thirteen rows back on the correct side of the theatre to get the
full, uh, benefit of this bit. Or big bit, as the case may be. STOP!!!! Ari
Graynor as Galecki's sometimes girlfriend was the play's least developed character,
and that's a handicap right off the bat, and, unfortunately, Ms. Graynor couldn't
rise to the challenge, and her performance, though professional and competent, was disappointingly bland. The success or failure of The Little Dog Laughed depends on how well the actress playing the
role of Diane fares, and Julie White owned the role, and, though never stealing
focus away from other actors in scenes, she owned the stage as well. This is a
mammoth role. It requires razor-sharp timing. It requires the skill to take a
monologue and turn it into a spoken aria that brings down the house upon
completion. Julie White had the timing and the skill and she was simply,
wonderfully, totally magnificent. This was a performance on a par with Dorothy
Loudon's in Noises Off, and that is
meant as a sincere compliment of the highest order. Is this great theatrical
literature? No. And perhaps in 2017, it may even be a bit dated. And with a
less accomplished cast, it could seem less than stellar. But, at least in its
Broadway outing, this was a comic triumph. I loved it. – at the Cort Theatre,
New York
Sidebar:
I saw White in an off-Broadway production of Teresa Rebeck's 2009 playThe Understudy playing a role similar to
her role in The Little Dog Laughed. In
this as well, her comic genius shone. She has also been the mistress of
ceremonies several years running at Broadway
Backwards. The theatre is fortunate to have her.
February, 2007. I knew Bob would love this show, so we went
shortly before it closed. Zoe Lister-Jones, who originated the part of Ellen in
The Little Dog Laughed's off-Broadway
premiere in the winter of 2006, the role played by Ari Graynor in October, was
back in the role and, frankly, was a welcome cast change. Familiarity with the
show did not diminish the enjoyment and once again I, Bob, and our Cort mates
laughed ourselves silly. And for the record, this time I was seated on the
opposite side of the stage so during the big "reveal," as it were,
Mr. Scott only displayed his backside while Mr. Galecki remained in full view.
Sorry to dwell, but you just don't get naked bits in Barefoot in the Park. – at the Cort Theatre, New York
LUNCHING – New
Broadway Theatre, Chicago
November, 1983. Alan Gross' 1977 comedy about two yuppie
couples, whining about how, at 30, their lives were essentially over and filled
with ennui, angst, and infidelity, was a huge hit back in the day. It came back
in 1983 in a revised edition, and as a
production, it was fine. I just didn't care. Blah, blah, blah, whine, whine,
whine. Ugh. Steve and I went because one of his clients, Robert Neches was in
it and we got comps. Set in Chicago and the suburbs and laden with local
references, Lunching is one of those
plays that, despite local popularity, never go anywhere and is not in the
Samuel French, Dramatists, or Dramatic Publishing catalogs. Playwright Gross
returned to the Chicago theatre scene in 2009 with a new play based on his
childhood in suburban Skokie called High
Holidays. It received a poorly-received production at Goodman Theatre's
smaller space and, like Lunching,
disappeared from sight. – at the New Broadway Theatre, Chicago
Sidebar:
The New Broadway Theatre was located in the Jane Addams Hull House Center
on North Broadway. A center for community service and home to several theatre
companies, the building was sold and remodeled to become the trendy Lakeview
Athletic Club.
LENA HORNE: THE LADY
AND HER MUSIC – Blackstone Theatre, Chicago
May, 1984. Lena Horne's life and career were full of
challenges, prejudices, discrimination, injustices, and racism. She was a
beautiful black woman, too talented and too light-skinned to be easily slotted
into Hollywood's preconceived notion of what a black woman should be on screen.
But talent won out and by the time Horne decided to tell all onstage in her
Tony-winning show, she had become a true legend. She took New York by storm;
now it was Chicago's turn. The evening started off with a thrilling rendition
of Cole Porter's "From This Moment On," and her commentaries on the
songs gave an immediacy to the numbers she so delectably sang. Her stories
about her life and career in an era of prejudice, racism and discrimination
were told sometimes with humor or cynical reflection, sometimes with a quiet
anger, sometimes with a sad resignation. The audience was with her 100%, but
then, in Act Two, it all changed. At first the change was subtle…rants and
complaints about her Broadway management (the producers for this tour were
different) that, though funny at first, devolved into a spoiled diva's pout
fest. Then, inexplicably, she turned on her predominantly white audience,
as though every one of us was personally responsible for the pain, slights, and
slurs she'd endured for much of her career. Fourteen hundred theatergoers instantly
turned off. People started walking out, some vocally. And through it all, Horne
had this self-satisfied smug look on her face. I get it.
Discrimination and racism in any form is horrible. As a gay man, I've
experienced it and the LGBT community is still experiencing it. People of color
are still experiencing it. Minorities and women are still experiencing it.
We're a country of deeply-rooted racism and prejudices, racism and prejudices celebrated and encouraged by the current administration. But, attacking your audience is neither the time
nor the place to make a point, if that's what she was doing. Her stories were making their points on their own. We were all experiencing Horne's pain and frustration, as well as her happiness, but then.... The evening
continued, but the joy was sucked out of the performance. I couldn't wait for
it to end. – at the Blackstone Theatre, Chicago
Sidebar:
I've only had two other experiences where I completely lost respect for a
performer. One was Danny Kaye in Two by
Two, to be discussed in a future post, and the other was Dionne Warwick
after seeing her in concert during my ISU days. After what seemed like an interminable
delay, Dionne Warwick took to the portable stage in ISU's Horton Field House,
appeared totally disinterested, sang for exactly thirty-five minutes, then left
the stage, never to return. The large audience was gobsmacked. Sure, we only
paid $5.00 for the tickets, but back in 1969, that was a fair amount of money
for a college student. The student press was less than kind, no explanation for
the very short concert was offered, and I've never listened to a Dionne Warwick
song by choice ever again.
LEGENDS! – Shubert
Theatre, Chicago
October, 1986. What becomes a legend most? Well, certainly
not Legends! On paper this looked like
a can't-miss smash: Mary Martin and Carol Channing onstage…together!, a
script by James Kirkwood, author of the fabulously funny P.S. Your Cat Is Dead! and Tony and Pultizer Prize winner
for the book for A Chorus Line, and
directed by Clifford Williams, the esteemed RSC associate director and director
of Sleuth. How could this possibly
fail? Oh, let me count the ways. When you write a comedy for two bona-fide
legends of the theatre, you'd better make it funny and not rely on your two
leading ladies to utilize every bit of every tool at their command to make the
play the moderately funny evening it ended up being. It was terrible, all right,
but not at all a waste of an evening since it gave the capacity audience a rare
non-musical glimpse of two of the most beloved stars in theatre. The material
let them down, but Carol Channing and Mary Martin did not let us down. Pros
even when they had to put up with the nonsense that director Williams and
writer Kirkwood put them through. As a harried agent trying to nail the deal to
get the two life-long enemies to star in a, hopefully, career-resuscitating
Broadway play, Gary Beach was manically funny, giving hints of his future Tony
performance in The Producers. But
then…sigh. We had a sassy black maid, all stereotype and seriously not very
funny, gamely played by Annie-Joe. There was a male stripper scene. Why? And there was
a oh-my-god-this-will-just-have-them-rolling-in-the-aisles scene involving
hashish brownies that didn't have us rolling in the aisles. Now understand,
there were laughs and some huge ones
at that, and the audience gave their legends a heartfelt standing ovation at
the bows, but in the end, everyone would have been better off if Kirkwood would
have just contrived something along the lines of An Evening with Mary Martin and Carol Channing and let his stars do
their respective things. Or have them read and sing the Chicago phone book. It
would have been better. – at the Shubert Theatre, Chicago.
Legendary
Sidebars: Legends! never made it
to Broadway, despite rumors to the contrary and an annoucement to the contrary
at the show's closing two months after its Chicago run. For reasons known only
to their therapists, a production starring Joan Collins and Linda Evans was
mounted in 2006 and it traipsed around the country to horrible reviews and
shuttered without its proposed stop on Broadway. I
didn't see it when it stopped off at the LaSalle Bank Theatre (formerly the
Shubert). I didn't feel the need to put myself through that sort of torture.
For the record, Legends! is handled
by Samuel French in case anyone wants to mount a production. Please feel free
NOT to invite me.
Required
Reading: James Kirkwood's 1989 Diary of a Mad Playwright: Perilous
Adventures on the Road with Mary Martin and Carol Channing should be
required reading for anyone interested in the theatre. Recounting every moment
of Legends! journey, it's catty,
riotously funny, touching, sometimes sad, and thoroughly detailed, letting the
reader in on all the happenings and perils of mounting a Broadway-bound play. Though Mary Martin
and Carol Channing don't completely get off the hook, as it were, Kirkwood's
affection for both ladies is evident, and when you finish the book, you wish
the project had had a happier ending.
Until next time…
© 2017 Jeffrey Geddes
